Browse Author: Daniel Beeraddict

Why Do Men Cheat?

We all know that men cheat – but why?

It would be nice to have only one reason that men cheat – and even better if it was simple enough that their women could put a stop to it.  However, there are many reasons that men cheat and not all of them can be stopped.  However, some things can be changed. Here is some insight as to why men cheat.

  1. Opportunity Came Knocking

Sometimes it really is just that simple.  An opportunity arose – maybe that knockout at the office finally gave him some attention – and he simply couldn’t bring himself to say no.  Men don’t get offers of sex thrown in their face every day, so when they do – some men can’t stop themselves from indulging.


  1. Bedroom Boredom

Sex between partners can become monotonous or even close to non-existent.  If sex between you and partner seems like a basic routine these days, your partner may be getting bored, and could be looking for some sexual excitement elsewhere.  Variety is the spice of life.  Keep your time in the bedroom fresh and exciting.  Change positions, try new things – and keep his attention on you.


  1. Excitement of the Chase

Often, finding a woman who is attractive and wooing them into the bedroom is not only a great boost to the ego, but the process can be exciting.  For some men, it’s even a bragging right to their friends.  If your man feels this way, it will be hard to stop him from cheating.  It’s a game to him, and perhaps you need to set your sights elsewhere.


  1. They’re Allowed

Many times, men start to believe that they are actually allowed to cheat.  When women find out their man cheated, and then stay with him – this gives men the signal that cheating is okay.  If you are staying with your man after he cheated once, be sure he knows that strike two – he’s out!


  1. Love is Lost

People often stay in a relationship even though both partners know deep down that it is over.  Men are rarely the ones who will end a relationship just because the spark has gone.  Instead, he will begin to look elsewhere for emotional and sexual stimulation.  Hooking up with someone else at this point will be justified to him because he knows that it is only a matter of time before the relationship is over anyway.

She just got cheated on – What NOT to say to your best friend

Avoid saying these things when your best friend gets cheated on.

You got the call from your best friend – tears, sniffles, sobs – she just found out her boyfriend cheated on her.  The first thing you want to do is run over to that guys house and throw rocks through his windows in defense of your best friend (and that’s just the beginning!) but we all know we can’t (shouldn’t) do that.  Instead, you need to be a supportive listener to your friend, and as much as you want to say the following statements – don’t!

  1. “We all saw that coming.”

Getting cheated on is a hard blow to the ego as it is.  Letting your friend know that you and everyone else she knows could see this coming a mile away, while she got side-slapped by surprised – is going to make her feel even lower.  Even if you did see it coming, it is better you act just as surprised as her.


  1. “You guys were never going to get serious anyways, were you?”

You’re trying to make her feel better, but this is not the time to be making judgements on her relationship.  Most people are in a relationship because they can see it going somewhere.  Thinking that people on the outside have a better grasp of their relationship than her, will only make her feel lower.


  1. “I always thought he was an ass.”

Careful!  Even though he cheated on her, it doesn’t give you a free pass to voice anything you don’t like about the guy.  She may decide to give him another chance, and you’re putting your foot in your mouth.  You don’t need to put him down –build up your friend’s confidence again instead.


  1. “It won’t happen again.”

You don’t know this for a fact, so don’t say it. I know it’s exactly what she wants to hear, but she needs to work it out on her own whether or not she believes that is true.


  1. “Dump him!”

You think she should dump him, and maybe she should!  But the decision might not be that easy for her.  People invest a lot of themselves into relationships, and it’s not always easy to pull away.  Besides, dumping someone before you’re truly ready inside will often lead to getting back together again, and possibly breaking up again, etc.  She needs to feel ready on her own time before she can work up the courage to break up with him.

Don’t sweat the small stuff

Quit sabotaging your relationship by dwelling on the small stuff.

If you’ve been in a relationship with someone for a long time, you may start to be annoyed by small things.  Things that may never have annoyed you are starting to get on your nerves and you find yourself being irritable with your man.

Small things may start turning into bigger arguments when they don’t need to.  Follow these steps to help you stop arguing so much with your man.

  1. Is It Something New?

If something your man is doing is bothering you, take a moment to think about when he started doing it.  Has he always done this or is it something new?  If it is something that he has always done, perhaps you need to understand why you are suddenly annoyed with it instead of asking him to change.


  1. Is it Important?

Is this annoyance going to make or break your relationship?  Everyone has certain habits or qualities that are not entirely endearing.  If he always leaves his clothes on the floor, or never puts his shoes in the closet – is that something that will tear your relationship apart?  You don’t want to bring up every little thing that annoys you, or it will seem to him that you hate everything he does.


  1. Can it be Changed?

Before saying something to your man about what is annoying you, be sure it’s something that can be changed.  If he chews too loudly and it bothers you – you’ll just have to deal with it.  However, if he is constantly leaving hairs in the sink from shaving and you have to clean it, that can be changed.  Ask him nicely to clean the sink when he is finished.  It may take a while for him to get into the habit of it, but be patient and don’t get mad when he forgets.


  1. Plan Before You Speak

Never snap at him right when he does something that annoys you.  You may want to, but wait until your mood has changed before you talk to him about it.  If you say something right then you’re apt to have an angry tone in your voice which will upset him.  This will also give you time to consider the above questions.  If it’s still important an hour later let him know that what he is doing bothers you and offer a solution to the problem.

Should I Tell Her He’s Unfaithful?

He’s Cheating on my Friend – Do I tell her?

So you have reason to believe that your friends man is cheating on her, do you?  Wonder if it’s a good idea to tell her?  Here are some questions to ask yourself before you make that bold move.

  1. Are You Sure?

Before you go and tell your friend that her man is cheating on her, you need to be sure of your information.  Did you physically see something happen?  Did you overhear a phone call? Is it just a hunch? If you don’t have some sort of solid evidence, she may not want to believe you, and may possibly turn it around to say you are jealous or unsupportive.  Be sure of the information you have before you turn to your friend.


  1. What if it was You?

Play a little role-reversal.  If your friend came to you with this exact information – how would you react?  Again, if it’s concrete evidence it’s hard to disprove.  However – if it’s not so concrete, would you want her to get involved in your relationship?


  1. Do You Understand Their Relationship?

Before you go telling your friend about something you thought you may have seen or overheard – be sure you understand their relationship.  Not everybody has the same rules in a relationship.  Do you know that they are committed?  And what does commitment mean to them as a couple?  We live in a world of anything from complete monogamy to full-on swingers.  Make sure you understand where their relationship lies before you say anything.  If they are in a more lenient relationship, you don’t want to embarrass her if she doesn’t want to talk to you about it.


  1. Should it Come From You?

If you’re thinking of telling your friend that her man is cheating on her, perhaps you should bring it up with her man first.  Call him or set up a meeting with him face to face and ask him about what you saw or heard.  Hear him out.  If it’s concrete evidence, and you still believe that he is guilty – give him a chance to tell her instead of you.  Although you mean to do the right thing, it might be easier for her to take the news coming from her man.  Being cheated on is a blow to the ego, and it might be nice to at least feel like she is the first person to find out – instead of you.

He Cheated – Should I Give Him a Second Chance?

Should he get a second chance if he cheated?

So you found out he cheated on you.  There are a lot of emotions going through your mind right now.  Most of all you’re wondering if you should give him another chance, or if breaking up with him is the right thing to do – Unfortunately, you are the only one that can decide that.  However, here are some tips to help you make the right decision.

  1. Once a Cheater… Always a Cheater?

Some people believe that if he cheated on you once, he will cheat on you over and over again in the future.  This is not necessarily the case.  If it was truly a one-off situation, it does not mean it will happen again.  Hopefully, he will have learned the lesson.  However, if it was a more meaningful relationship (read: not just a one-night stand) the chances of him doing it again are higher.


  1. Strike TWO – He’s OUT!

If you do decide to give him another chance – give him just ONE more chance.  If he cheats on you again, it’s time to kick him to the curb.  If you were to give him yet another chance after he cheated on you twice, he will start to view this as acceptable behaviour – or at least – behaviour you will put up with.  You don’t need to put up with it.


  1. Can You Live With That Picture?

I know you’ve already imagined the scene in your head of when he cheated on you.  If you give him a second chance are you able to push that image out of your head?  Make sure you can get over it – otherwise, the image will be like a giant elephant in the room whenever you’re together – you’ll be thinking about it, getting mad about it, but know you can’t keep talking about it.


  1. What is He Willing to DO?

Giving him another chance is going to be hard – for both of you.  It will be very difficult for you to trust him in the beginning.  Every time he leaves your side, you may think he’s going to cheat again – and that’s a normal reaction.  If he wants you to give him a second chance he’s going to have to work very hard to earn that trust back.  You will need all your questions answered and he needs to be completely transparent – one little white lie and the trust will crumble even further.