She just got cheated on – What NOT to say to your best friend

Avoid saying these things when your best friend gets cheated on.

You got the call from your best friend – tears, sniffles, sobs – she just found out her boyfriend cheated on her.  The first thing you want to do is run over to that guys house and throw rocks through his windows in defense of your best friend (and that’s just the beginning!) but we all know we can’t (shouldn’t) do that.  Instead, you need to be a supportive listener to your friend, and as much as you want to say the following statements – don’t!

  1. “We all saw that coming.”

Getting cheated on is a hard blow to the ego as it is.  Letting your friend know that you and everyone else she knows could see this coming a mile away, while she got side-slapped by surprised – is going to make her feel even lower.  Even if you did see it coming, it is better you act just as surprised as her.

 

  1. “You guys were never going to get serious anyways, were you?”

You’re trying to make her feel better, but this is not the time to be making judgements on her relationship.  Most people are in a relationship because they can see it going somewhere.  Thinking that people on the outside have a better grasp of their relationship than her, will only make her feel lower.

 

  1. “I always thought he was an ass.”

Careful!  Even though he cheated on her, it doesn’t give you a free pass to voice anything you don’t like about the guy.  She may decide to give him another chance, and you’re putting your foot in your mouth.  You don’t need to put him down –build up your friend’s confidence again instead.

 

  1. “It won’t happen again.”

You don’t know this for a fact, so don’t say it. I know it’s exactly what she wants to hear, but she needs to work it out on her own whether or not she believes that is true.

 

  1. “Dump him!”

You think she should dump him, and maybe she should!  But the decision might not be that easy for her.  People invest a lot of themselves into relationships, and it’s not always easy to pull away.  Besides, dumping someone before you’re truly ready inside will often lead to getting back together again, and possibly breaking up again, etc.  She needs to feel ready on her own time before she can work up the courage to break up with him.