Should I Tell Her He’s Unfaithful?

He’s Cheating on my Friend – Do I tell her?

So you have reason to believe that your friends man is cheating on her, do you?  Wonder if it’s a good idea to tell her?  Here are some questions to ask yourself before you make that bold move.

  1. Are You Sure?

Before you go and tell your friend that her man is cheating on her, you need to be sure of your information.  Did you physically see something happen?  Did you overhear a phone call? Is it just a hunch? If you don’t have some sort of solid evidence, she may not want to believe you, and may possibly turn it around to say you are jealous or unsupportive.  Be sure of the information you have before you turn to your friend.


  1. What if it was You?

Play a little role-reversal.  If your friend came to you with this exact information – how would you react?  Again, if it’s concrete evidence it’s hard to disprove.  However – if it’s not so concrete, would you want her to get involved in your relationship?


  1. Do You Understand Their Relationship?

Before you go telling your friend about something you thought you may have seen or overheard – be sure you understand their relationship.  Not everybody has the same rules in a relationship.  Do you know that they are committed?  And what does commitment mean to them as a couple?  We live in a world of anything from complete monogamy to full-on swingers.  Make sure you understand where their relationship lies before you say anything.  If they are in a more lenient relationship, you don’t want to embarrass her if she doesn’t want to talk to you about it.


  1. Should it Come From You?

If you’re thinking of telling your friend that her man is cheating on her, perhaps you should bring it up with her man first.  Call him or set up a meeting with him face to face and ask him about what you saw or heard.  Hear him out.  If it’s concrete evidence, and you still believe that he is guilty – give him a chance to tell her instead of you.  Although you mean to do the right thing, it might be easier for her to take the news coming from her man.  Being cheated on is a blow to the ego, and it might be nice to at least feel like she is the first person to find out – instead of you.